Your head hits the pillow, and all is finally quiet.

Except your mind.

So many problems. So many angles to consider. So many possible solutions. So much at risk. So…

Where to begin???

That’s always a great question. In fact, it’s the best question! Because however you answer holds the power to determine whether stress or peace is going to be in your near future.

The most natural and common answer is, of course, “Just figure out how to fix everything - and FAST!”

So the mind keeps racing. Should I do this or should I do that? How can I get the best possible outcome? What should I say? Where should I go? Who can I trust? Will I have what I need? How do I get what I need? Will I have help? What if such-and-such happens? What will people think?

And just as your mind finally eases into what seems to be a reasonable plan of attack and your head once again, settles back down into a soft pillow, another question strikes.

What if my plan doesn’t work!?!

As cortisol levels spike, the mind naturally fights back by considering every worst-case scenario possible so it can create a Plan B, Plan C, and Plan D… 

Just in case.

After all, the whole world really is on your shoulders. Because this is what it means to be a responsible adult. Right?

Actually, this is what it means to be controlling. The two are very different.

Being responsible (or having agency), is having the heart intention of doing good things and responding well in all situations regardless of how things turn out in the end. For Christ followers, this means listening for and obeying God’s good ways in all things whether it makes sense or not.

Being controlling is pushing to make sure all outcomes in all situations turn out as we think they should, at all times. At the root of control is a fear-driven belief that outcomes are solely up to us – for better or worse. “If it is to be, it’s up to me.”

And if you don’t have God, this in part, is true. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because if you are “leaning on your own understanding” and determining your own direction for everything you do, outcomes are solely based on your own choices. There’s no way around it. (Prov. 3:5)

But if you happen to have a healthy relationship with God rooted in the reality of who you are (loved but limited) in comparison to who He is (loving, all-knowing, and all-powerful), you find yourself naturally longing to release control to Him. For the person who has died out to self and is surrendered to God, outcomes are on His shoulders to carry.

Which takes us back to the best question we can ask when we are faced with problems, choices, and the anxiety they create. Where do we start?

If we start with our own reasoning, resources, people we know, and our admittedly, limited ability to “figure things out,” in order to wind up with the outcomes we believe to be best, we will feel the weight and stress of our self-imposed sense of being in control. And we’ll fall apart when outcomes don’t turn out as well as we hope.

But if we start with even just a few moments of acknowledging the Holy Spirit’s Presence, His all-knowing goodness, and compassionate care for us before jumping into a google search, phone call, or planning session, we will:

  • Be more inclined to surrender to His perspectives and insights into our situation
  • Be more sensitive to the Spirit’s gentle nudges to move ahead, stop, turn to a different resource, or change our minds at a moment’s notice as we are dealing with our problem
  • Be better at noticing details and circumstances in which God is revealing that “He’s got this" – He really does have our backs.
  • Be able to feel our hearts and bodies naturally relax into God's overwhelming “peace that exceeds anything we can understand” (Php. 4:7)

What’s more, is that based on the whole of Scripture, we can be abundantly certain that even if one of our “worst case scenarios” does come true while we’re surrendering control and being obedient to God, He will always work something good out of it. ALWAYS.  Romans 8:27-28 tells us that the Spirit who knows things we cannot know about what we’re going through intercedes in prayer on our behalf as He is working all things “for the good of those who love him.”

Which means that even when we don’t get the outcomes we might have hoped for, it’s still a win. When we release control to God we never lose! You just can’t come up with a better Plan B, C, or D than that.

If we were to bottle this system up and sell it, we could label it “Surrender: The One Size Fits All Solution To Every Problem.”

That’s right. Every Problem.                        

Every fear, every loss, every challenge, every hurt, every irritation, every injustice, every question.

“Trust in the Lord with all Your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 ESV